World Cup Players to Watch: CRC vs GR

I've jumped right on to the World Cup bandwagon, and it's great! Until USA loses then who cares again. In the meantime, you may have noticed, as have I, that soccer players are pretty sexy human specimens. I don't know much about the "rules" or who's "good" at "futbol" but I have noticed that if you have a hot goalie, your chances at winning seem to improve.

Here's a little guide on who some of the key players (hotness factor) in the Round of 16 game Costa Rica v. Greece will be:

COSTA RICA

Giancarlo Gonzalez

What a cutie! If you're into the skinny-but-strong look, which is highly underrated. I think Giancarlo plays mid-field, so just look at the middle of the field and there he'll be. He's 6'1", 26 years old, and an Aquarius.

Cristian Gamboa

Am I seeing double? He looks a lot like Giancarlo, no? I'm not complaining. Cristian is a defender (he will protect your heart like he protects that goal), 5'8" (Short-Guy Syndrome danger zone), 24 years old and a Scorpio.

Yeltsin Tejeda

Well he's named after a Russian president but he's Costa Rican. Which means his parents are probably weird or super political and he has some issues there he needs to work out. Also a mid-fielder, which is nice cus you can scope out him and Giancarlo at the same time. Yeltsy is a baby at 22 years old, 5'10", and a Pisces.

GREECE

Georgios Tzavellas

He's a left back, so you can usually find him on the left side of the field, towards the back. He seems like that kind of guy that would Big Spoon unsolicited (but only for a little bit cus nobody needs to lose that much limb circulation) and wouldn't wake you up when he gets up early for soccer practice. Georgi is also 6 feet tall, 26 years old and a Sagittarius.

Dimitris Salpingidis

Maybe more cute or adorable that flat out hot, but he does look like the kind of guy who would be a lot more subtly sexist than some of his teammates and I appreciate that, Dimitri. He's a striker, and I don't know what that means but it sounds aggresive. He's 5'8" which is borderline for Short Guy Syndrome, 32 years old, and a Leo - rawr!

Orestis Karnezis

O-REST MY BEATING HEART, are you serious? I would crumble any yogurt-based economy for this muscled-up John Stamos goalie. He's too hot, Greece is definitely going to win this one. Sorry, Costa Rica, I still love you but like, more as a friend. He's 6'2", 28 years old and a Cancer.

My prediction? It's going to Greece. I mean, have you SEEN Costa Rica's goalie?